How to Stop Pushing & Finally Let go


“Doubt is resistance, faith is surrender. Worry is resistance, joy is surrender. Control is resistance, allowing is surrender. Ridicule is resistance, believing is surrender. Energy needs to flow or else it stagnates. Surrendering puts in the flow" – Jen Sincero (excerpt from 'You are a Badass')


Does it mean to give up or just sit back and wait for things to happen? 

Look, putting yourself out there can be terrifying. Chasing your dreams takes guts, courage and a lot of times change.

Any kind of change is uncomfortable. No matter how good or bad it challenges our belief system. Even our sense of worth and sometimes our whole identity. So naturally when we have a goal and put ourselves out there, we want to make sure there's no room for failure. So, we push, we overexert, we don't use our time efficiently and waste our resources and energy on what cannot be controlled. Holding on so tightly that we don't let the universe do it's magic. It's like planting seeds and overwatering them, expecting them to grow faster...instead they don't get a chance to even sprout.

You see, you're co-manifesting your desires with the universe. Plant your seeds, find a nice spot for them. And then sit back, water them from time to time and let the sun/universe do it's magic.

That doesn't mean you walk away or that you stop caring. You still go back to water and check in with them but you're not constantly hovering and waiting for them to grow.

So how can you overcome your fears and surrender?

Here are some ideas to help you find clarity:

  1. Embrace change: Either it's the need for it or the unexpected 'out of your control' kind of change. Welcome it, stop resisting. Change is constant so don't fight it!

  2. Listen to your fears: To every single one, the rational and the seemingly irrational. Write them out, try to understand them without judgement. They're here for a reason but they should not dictate your actions
  3. Work hard, work smart: Working more hours and burning yourself out can only take you so far. It might work at the beginning but it's not sustainable. It's not about quantity but quality, doing less so you can accomplish more. Are you using your resources and energy efficiently? Identify the things that are out of your control and start a 'Stop Doing' List
  4. Be curious and playful: Stop expecting everything to be perfect at the first try. Play, experiment. Know that failure is part of every experiment. Don't attach your failures to your worth. It's going to hurt your ego but like Jillian Michaels says "A bad day for your ego is a great day for your soul." Do not accept failure as defeat but instead a measure you can improve on
  5. Trust the universe has your back: That things will be figured out. But you still need to put in the effort. Take the first steps in recognizing why you want to do something, what can be done and then the details will fall into place. You don’t need to know the complete roadmap. Just start and the rest will follow. 

Finally, to surrender is to trust that no matter what outcome and obstacles you face; they are there to help you become the person you’re meant to be. 

May this empower you to stop pushing so you can flow into the life you aspire to live.